sad day; repetition

You can read my blog, 15 year plan.

You can read my blog, Eagle Charge.

Like so many others who heard the Eagle Charge preached, you may agree in saying that my calling is not to be a doctor, but to be a pastor of a church instead.

All day Saturday and Sunday, I was surrounded with praise from the lips of people saying that I did a great job presenting the gospel. Saying that if medical school doesn’t work out, seminary would be a great alternative.

All night Sunday and all day Monday, I was surrounded with the lies from the lips of Satan saying that I misheard God’s calling. Saying that medical school wasn’t meant to work out. Saying that I could still be a missionary doctor, but would need seminary for this; further postponing medical school.

Monday was a sad day.

The commercial is right in saying that “depression hurts”.

As I cried out to God for comfort, understanding, and renewed passion, He answered me. He told me to stop praying that I would be the solution. This meant to stop praying where I could be the solution (which med school to attend/accepted to); to stop praying that I could know how I was the solution (missionary doctor vs. pastor/church planter); and to stop praying that I could be comforted in knowing that I was the solution for a broken world.

God screamed, “I AM the Solution!”… “I AM Salvation, Hope, Joy, Satisfaction!”

God told me to pray over the problem and to watch Him be the Solution.

So I did. I prayed over doctors’ idolatry of success, money, pride, and power. Over doctors’ divorce rate. Over their children who grew up with an unrepentant and sinful father who was not home. And I continue to do so daily.

In prayer and conversation with the Father, God has restarted breaking my heart over doctors in our society….But Satan came back to Jesus twice in the wilderness; and once more to me the following day.

On Monday, I began to get bored and tired over the repetitiveness of my work. I transport one patient after the other. I transport about 100 patients every week – one at the time and one immediately following the other.

By the afternoon, I was exhausted and Satan began attacking my mind. I began to think thoughts such as these:

What if med school doesn’t work out?

How in the world will I be able to lead medical missions trips?

What if I am called to preach the gospel to a church?

Do I need to go to Seminary before a church will let me lead a missions trip?

Won’t Seminary post pone med school?

I don’t have a home after August. Where will I live without med school?

Do I still want to be a doctor? Can I handle the repetitiveness of a doctor?

Am I called to be a doctor, or lead a ministry for doctors?

I was utterly drained and extremely frustrated.

Jesus overcame Satan in the wilderness with scripture. Only by the Grace of God was I lead to Psalm 42: 5 & 6. Praise God!

So, out of response to scripture, I remembered Jesus at the cross, my Salvation, my God. All I could dwell on was Him. I had nothing else to ease the pain and frustration. And He answered.

In Exodus, the presence of God to Moses is demonstrated as God tells Moses His different names. God began to reveal His character to me as I just sat in His presence.

I purchased the book, How Doctors Think. There will be commentary on this book coming. I figured if this was my mission field, it is time to do culture study. This book has already displayed multiple snapshots of a doctor’s day. And at every snapshot, I say, “Yes! That is want during my days in a career!”

But there is still the repetition aspect. As kids we ask questions like, why do I have to brush my teeth if they are going to get dirty again? Why do I take baths, eat, make my bed, clean my room, and change clothes if I will have to do them all over again.

As funny as it is, I find myself asking some days at work, “Why am I moving this patient if they will have to be moved again tomorrow? What is the point?”

As a doctor, I may ask, “Why am I treating this patient if they will just get sick again?”

And tonight, Jesus showed me the answer. It is to show the love of Christ. Paul says that he daily repents. We are called to continually lay at the foot of the cross. We may go away for some time, but just to return in need.

I want to be the doctor that patients come to when they are in need. The doctor that they know will never turn them away due to their financial, social, or medical status. That because Jesus continually comes to us, knowing we will fall again, I will continually run to my patients knowing that they will get sick again.

But most importantly, that I will see and treat my patients not as a case, patient, or even a person. But that I would treat them as a soul. That as a hell bound soul, I would run to them with the forgiveness in the Gospel through my relentless care. That as a heaven bound soul, I would run to them with the restoration in the Gospel through my encouraging care.

Jesus, thank You for the cross. Thank You for who You are. Thank You that You are I AM. You are all we need. There is no set of words that could describe You. You are the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, and so much more! I love You. Don’t ever let me leave You. Continue calling my name. -Amen

Eagle Charge

Today my brother received his Eagle Scout. I was chosen to give him the Eagle Charge. I was then told I only had 10 minutes. So I cut out a lot of stuff and was left with this. This was the charge.

Q: If you had 10 minutes to offer words of advice to your younger sibling before (s)he enters college, what would you say?

Brian,

In Genesis 3, the woman is tempted by Satan, the woman misquotes scripture, the woman eats the apple, the woman disobeys God, the woman leads the man to sin, Adam and Eve were ashamed and both hid from God.

But the funny thing is this; In verse 9, it says that the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”.

Brian, it is very difficult to be a man in today’s society. As you go off to college, you will learn that there are many things that make you a man in this world. College will tell you it is how much beer you can drink, girls you can sleep with, or drugs you can smoke. Some churches will tell you it is how passive you are, polite you can be, or how much money you have.

It is difficult to be a man in today’s world. And God is screaming at us, “Where are you!”

The scouts exist to create leaders for society. The rank of Eagle says that you are just that, a leader. But before you can lead a society, you must first lead yourself. What does this mean? Be a man.

1 Timothy is a letter from Paul to a young man named Timothy. In chapter 6, Paul charges Timothy to be a man with four specific instructions. I want to charge you with the same.

Beginning with verse 11, Paul says,

“But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.”

The first charge is to Flee. Flee what?

These things are in verse 10 above. It says,

“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wondered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”

Notice it does not say money is a root of evil, but the love of money is. Brian, a scout is thrifty. This means that instead of worshiping money, he worships with his money.

But as men, we are not only called to run away. We are called to run towards and pursue.

Brian, before you can be a leader in our society, you are called, as a man, to first lead your wife. In order to do this, you have to find one. Brian pursue these qualities (righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness) as you pursue a wife.

The next verse says that we are called to fight. Praise God! We as men love to fight. In the newest call of duty, you are attacked by dogs in some missions and, after the dog jumps on you, you can push a button and instead of shooting the dog, you grab its head and break its neck. That’s awesome! I probably got in trouble with some PETA people, but I am man, hear me roar.

Verse 12 says, “Fight the good fight of the faith.”

In 1 Corinthians 9:26, Paul says, “I do not run aimlessly. I do not box as one beating the air.

Brian, know what you fight for. As a leader in college and this world, there will be moments when you have to truly fight for your values and family. Be a man and fight.

Lastly, Paul tells Timothy to, “Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”

Brian embrace the work Jesus did at the cross of reconciling filthy sinners to a Holy God.

(Call Eagles up to front)

Paul finishes Timothy’s man talk with a charge. After telling Timothy to flee, pursue, fight, and take, Paul charges Timothy with this in verse 13:

“I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which he will display at the proper time – he who is the blessed and only Soverign, the King of kings, and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen”

Paul charges Timothy to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach. This is a difficult charge for Timothy. You see, we know that it is impossible to keep the commandments and to live above reproach.

But, ironically, two things happened at the cross. They are shown in Leviticus 16.

On the Day of Atonement, the sins of Israel were paid for, pointing to Jesus on the cross.

The first thing that happened was this: Leviticus 16:15&16

The idea is this: The wrath of God for the sins of the people was poured out on the blood of this goat. And the truth is this: the wrath of God was poured out for all people onto Jesus at the cross. This is called propitiation and 1 John 4:10 says,

“In this is love, not that we have loved God, but that he loves us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

The second thing that happened was this: Leviticus 16:20-22.

So, what an awesome job, to be the, “man in readiness”! It’s like Aaron is saying, “Sinful, sinful, sinful, GO” And I don’t know if he had a stick or went bare hand, but then he smacks the goat and sends it off.

But this is where we get our term scapegoat from. Because the goat would figuratively carry the sins of Israel away from them.

You see, at the cross Jesus not only accepted the penalty for our sins, but He also carried our sins away from us. This is called expiation and when John the Baptist sees Jesus, he shouts, “Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!”

So Eagle scouts, we see that at the foot of the cross of Christ is the only place where we can truly live out this charge to keep the commandments and live above reproach.

1 John 1:7-10 says it like this,

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”

Brian, here is my charge to you, as an Eagle Scout;

I simply charge you, myself, and all other Eagles here that we would lead our lives, our families, and our communities like the men that the badge over our hearts says we are.

And this is only possible through a life spent at the foot of the cross of Christ.

Let’s pray.

Today I offended the auto center…Oops!

So I got my oil changed today @ NTB. They called me to tell me my car was done and they informed me of some problems they saw in my car.

1) I needed the battery fluid drained and replaced.

2) I needed the power steering fluid drained and replaced.

There are two essential components of a car; brakes and steering. And I needed both.

NTB’s price? Battery: $59     Steering: $109

Are you kidding me! So, I told NTB I needed to make some phone calls and I would call them back.

I called AAA, and here are their prices: Battery: $53   Steering: $59

So, the choice is obvious and I called NTB back. Here is where  I offended them.

After I told NTB that I was gonna do these services somewhere else, NTB said, “Well, I just can’t imagine anybody beating our prices, so I don’t know where you are going to go.”

After I explained AAA and their prices, NTB said that they couldn’t beat those.

So I felt bad…for a little while. You see, NTB went through the trouble of inspecting my car with none of the financial benefits. But then I remembered that this was the very reason I went to NTB for an oil change; because they inspect my car.

If you have read this far, I know you are asking, “So where is Jesus in this?”

Here it is: The Church can’t save you!

Many people make the mistake of going to church, expecting to be saved from all their weekly troubles and pains. They are disappointed when this does not happen and turn their back on God in the process.

You see, the church is NTB. Our job as the church is to love the world in such a way that they run to us because they know we truly care. We help them on the surface, like NTB helped me with an oil change. Acts 2:42-47 explains how the early church did this.

Our job as the church is to point people to Jesus. I would have to pay extravagant amounts to solve the real problems in my car at NTB. If you belong to a church who fails to point you to Jesus, you are probably burnt out, mad at God (but actually at your church), and the Christian at work that everybody hates.

A church that tries to save their members is like NTB was to me. They can solve my problems yes, but I will be broke and dead before they send me home.

“In this is love, not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” 1 John 4:10

Christians:

1) Where does your finger point? At the sinners or the Savior?

2) Don’t attend, but be a part of a local church that points their community to Jesus and the cross.

All Others:

1) Jesus loves you and died to call you out of the darkness you “live” in. Your life sucks because your heart sucks. You need a new heart. This is found in Jesus at the cross. Ask a Christian to introduce you to Him.

2) See the instructions for Christians above.

Jesus, we love you. Redeem the church You died for. Jesus, let us be God in the flesh to everyone around us today. Lord, let everything we do be a finger pointing back to You. Thank You for the cross and how You spend time with us when we spend time with You. Help me to love, adore, honor, and respect You. -Amen

Tricking people into salvation (are you really saved?)

Here is my culture in the south:

You grow up in the church and being polite to everybody.

At a young age (b4 15yrs usually) you say a prayer and the preacher tells you that you have been saved.

You have no idea what this means, but are okay with it because it sounds positive.

Nothing really changes in your life except now you feel obliged to go to church on Sundays.

——————————–

I have heard this preached countless times, but have subconsciously ignored it.

You see, my story is this: I was raised in the south. I went to church every Sunday with my parents. I said a prayer on the playground when I was 6 for Jesus to come into my life. I was baptized later on in life at a youth camp to show what Jesus had done in me. I was in Scouts my teenage years and gave devotionals on Sunday during every camping trip as Chaplain’s Aid.

So, my story is much of what I have heard preached as culture. But it was real in my life.

I have been skeptical about emotional salvation until I read ch. 16 in Dowd’s book.

*Dowd married Connie, an atheist at the time.

“Well, Connie loved the music; she sang with arms raised not unlike the most enthusiastic of those gathered. Several times throughout the service the guest preacher invited the crowd to participate in a call and response, which Connie was happy to do. After one such call and reasponse, the speaker declared, “If you just prayed that prayer with me, then the Bible says that you’ve been saved!” Wide-eyed, Connie shot me a stunned glance. All I could do was smile back and think to myself, “Whoa, that was smooth.” (295)

I read this, and it broke my heart. Why have we turned into a people who trick people into Jesus? Jesus is furious with this false salvation. Jonah 2:9 declares that Salvation belongs to the Lord. Why have we taken it from Him and given it to an emotional response?

We see one of the first mass salvation messages preached in Acts 2. Immediately following Pentacost, Peter preaches. Verse 38 says this:

“And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

It goes on to say that 3,000 were saved that day. Are you kidding me! 3000!

Here is what Peter declared: Repent!

Why have we gotten away from this. And here was the result:

They devoted themselves to teaching, fellowship, communion, and praying. Awe came on them, they sold their posessions and gave to the poor. Met daily in the temple having communion and throwing house parties.

Are you really saved?

Is Jesus Lord of your life? Does the Holy Spirit live through you? Are people changed around you?

Jesus, thank You for salvation. Lord, forgive my culture for how we have abused your Salvation. God, we have turned it into a feel good message and response. Use me to change the culture around me. Help me preach and live repentance, not emotional change. God, redeem our country. -Amen

“Hesdo Clinic” – The name of my clinic?

“Hesdo” is Aramaic with a dual meaning: grace and disgrace.

Hesdo is where Bethesda comes in.

John 5 is the occurrence when Jesus heals a man at the Pool of Bethesda, by the Sheep Gate.

Time

During a feast of Jews (1)

Place

In Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate (2)

Purpose

A place for sick people to come and recieve treatment (3-5)

———————————–

So hopefully we can now accept that this is similar to a modern day doctor’s office. But what is so different about it?

You see, I am back in Greenville and spent time with a family that is very close to my heart. By society’s standards, this family would be considered large and poor. Now it is one thing to hear of poverty, but it is another thing to experience it.

*Side note: I spoke this past Sunday on John 8:31-38 @ Harmony Church. One of the key points in the message was that Jesus spoke and did what He had seen with His Father while the pharisees did what they heard from their father. This implies that Jesus spent time with His Father. They hung out on a regular basis, had a true relationship, and the Father was alive. It also implies that the Jew’s father was no more than a speaker box that was not only dead, but also could only produce sounds.

So with us as Christians, it does make a difference between seeing something and simply hearing of it.

Anyway, I lay in bed tonight thinking of this family. Then the Holy Spirit began to work on me as I prayed over them. He brought it to my attention what happens when one of these family members gets sick. It could be devastation. But finances are the last thing that come to my mind. The first is the emotional toll on the parents to not only nurse the sick child, but keep up with the numerous others they are blessed with.

The Spirit then reminded me of John 5.

You see, I am called to be a physician so that I can reach other physicians with the Gospel on their level. But Jesus has begun to show me over the past several months that I am also called to treat the forgotten. Today, these are the poor and outcasts.

In John 5, this pool/practice is near a Gate to the city. There was also a feast going on in Jerusalem. Not positive, but could confidently bet that there are tons of Jews flocking to Jerusalem for this party. They would have to be good enough financially to make the journey to Jerusalem and be able to stay there for several days.

So we get this picture of a celebration occurring in a loud city while many middle class folks walk by this doctor’s office. Inside this doctor’s office there is a crowd of blind, lame, and paralyzed people trying to get treatment. The sickest are seen last.

My heart is broken over this fact in scripture and our society. But there is good news.

1) Jesus seeks out the worst cases.

“Do you want to be healed” (6)

2) Jesus worked on holidays.

“Now that day was the Sabbath” (9)

There is a feast going on outside, yet Jesus in inside the ward, doing what needs to be done.

3) Jesus does a follow up visit.

Afterward Jesus found him in the temple…” (14)

This man missed church for 38 years (a whole generation)! As soon as he is healed, he is found in the temple.

Q: Where will my treatment lead people?

I would love to call my clinic Hesdo. It would be a daily reminder to me of my mission because Hesdo means both grace and disgrace. It is grace because people would see Jesus in this clinic through my staff and I. It is disgrace because the poorest of poor and sickest of sick would not only be received, but sought after.

Jesus, thank you that you are a God who is alive. You seek the lost. You seek them not only when they are sick, but also after they are made well. Lord, help me during my ministry as a physician. These are the focuses you have placed in my heart as of now.

1) Love You with all my heart, soul, and mind.

2) Spread Your Gospel to the physicians around me on their level.

3) Seek out the poor, both here in the States and Overseas, for the sake of their good in health and for their Salvation in You.

-Amen

is Satan real?

Dowd opens up Chapter 10 with the following statements:

“From a science-based, evolutionary perspective, there is no place for belief in a literal Satan…Nevertheless, personalizing or rationalizing the forces of evil – especially those within us – can be helpful, whether or not we choose to use the words Satan or Devil” (169)

For those of you who have been reading my blog about this book know how frustrating it has been for me. But the frustration is no more! As I read this, I thought of one of the quotes I read;

“Dowd offers us an impassioned vision…and indeed make sense of, traditional religious orientations, while leaving plenty of room for readers not comfortable with God language.”

When I first read the critic above, I thought of how great this was for a Christian to be portraying the Gospel to such a wide audience demographic. But I was wrong.

After I read the first quote from Dowd’s book, God began to speak to me. He told me that Dowd isn’t using worldly language to express the Truth of the Gospel, but is instead using christian language to express a worldly lie. I thought, wow, what an incredible word…then I continued reading.

Dowd’s Gospel

“It is, rather, faith in him[Jesus] (i.e., trust in the values he incarnated, the integrity he enfleshed).” (184) *boldness added

“Getting real with oneself and others, owning the painful truths about one’s life, and grasping the comforting truth that God loves us anyway.” (186)

“No matter your religion or philosophy, making a commitment to grow in deep integrity will offer you much the same experience as those who have repented of their sins and asked Jesus to be their personal Lord and Savior” (195)

“If you are wholeheartedly committed to growing in deep integrity and have no resentment, no guilt, no shame, no regrets, and no unfinished business, you are saved no matter what your religion or philosophy.” (197)

“Given what we now know about deep-time creativity and grace, we can no longer in good conscience continue interpreting the story of Jesus’ birth, life, teachings, passion, death, and resurrection as primarily having to do with saving a select group of human beings from the fires of a literal hell when they die.” (202)

These are all false Gospels. The first quote puts our faith in the morals of Jesus instead of Jesus, Himself. The second never implies God’s holy wrath against sin at the cross. And the last three discredit Jesus as the only way to the Father.

You see, I think what upset me the most while reading this book was that it was widely accepted by all. But the Spirit began to remind me that,

John 15:18 and 1 Peter 2:4-5 which talk of Jesus and us being rejected by men.

You see, it became clear to me that many accepted this book in celebration because it isn’t Truth.

Jesus prayed in John 17:15 that we would be indwelt in our culture. So how do we be in the world without being of the world?

Well, foremost it is standing on the truth of scripture for who it reveals: Jesus. Next, it is being active in the world around us while offering Hope. I look to Jesus and notice how He asked so many questions to those around him. What if we did the same?

Believers:

Is your hold on scripture, Jesus, and the gospel loose or firm?

Are your actions in the culture around you involved or withdrawn?

How do you pray for the unrepentant sinners you have close relationships with?

Do you have close relationships with unrepentant sinners?

Everybody Else:

What are your passions?

Who do you say that Jesus is/was?

Who/what is your God?

Where do gaps form in the Gospel of Jesus (That we are sinners from birth, separated from God. God sent Himself, Jesus, to die the death we should have died and live the life we cannot live. That upon acceptance of this Truth, Jesus pays for our sins and we are in right standing with God)

Does Buddha solve the problems that Jesus can’t for a good life?

Did Jesus die so that Buddha could be in right standing with the God?

Do you have any suggestions of how a local church could serve you?

Jesus, thank you for Michael Dowd. Thank you for creating in us a desire to seek an Ultimate Truth. Thank you for being the satisfaction to that desire. I pray that we as Christians would earnestly seek You and how we can spread the Good News of sinners’ salvation and Your glory. I pray that as unrepentant sinners read this blog and hear your Gospel preached and displayed in the world around them, that Your Spirit would draw them to Yourself. I love you and do a great work in me. -Amen

DNA: “Life” on a mission

Dowd states, “One legitimate way of thinking about biological evolution is to imagine ourselves as, ‘survival machines’, compelled by instincts to do what it takes to successfully transmit the precious DNA we carry into the next generation.” (172)

Throughout this section, Dowd offers the thought that it is DNA behind our motives to reproduce. He gives the illustration of salmon swimming upstream just to ejaculate sperm and then die. Dowd proposes that it is the DNA that is trying to get passed on to the next generation, not the salmon.

How great is our God! The Gospel is the good news of Christianity; That we are sinful from birth, and thus separated from the love of God. God sent Himself in Jesus to bear the penalty of sin on our behalf. And that all who call upon the name of Jesus will be saved!

This is great news. This is the Gospel. I wonder if this information is the same as Dowd’s DNA. That we are but vessels. That once the Gospel becomes incorporated into our lives, that it takes over us. That we are compelled to pass it, even at the expense of our death.

Jesus, thank you for your salvation. You are my hope, joy, and life. Help us as we live to never hide your infinite Gospel that lives inside us trying to escape. Be the Light of the world that you are and shine through us. -Amen